Red Squirrel Reflections Dave Hoover explores the psychology of software development

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Transforming Rules into Guidelines at AYE
Wednesday, November 24, 2004

My last experience at AYE was in Jerry's Transforming Rules into Guidelines. The "rules" were the internal survival rules that every person develops at a young age. Different people have different rules: "I must make rational decisions", "I must not look stupid", and "I must be perfect", are all examples of common rules. Troubles can arise when we strive to strictly adhere to these rules, which were formed in contexts that are no longer relavant.

In a small group that included Rachel, I identified one of my rules: I must do 'great work' in every aspect of my life. Once identified, rules are ready for transformation. The following is a surprisingly simple exercise that reframed my rule into a guideline...

True or false? I can always do 'great work' in every aspect of my life ... False

True or false? I can sometimes do 'great work' in every aspect of my life ... True

I can do 'great work' in every aspect of my life when... (list three preconditions)

I was surprised by how quickly I was able to list the three preconditions: 1) I am well rested, 2) I feel connected with my wife and children, 3) I feel connected with God.

This tranformation has stuck with me more than any of the other nuggets of wisdom that I took away from AYE. With these preconditions etched into my mind, I am able to focus on keeping them intact rather than spiraling into a vicious cycle of breaking the rule and striving ever-harder not to break it.

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