Red Squirrel Reflections Dave Hoover explores the psychology of software development

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Red Squirrel Certified Non-Impaired Object-Oriented Designer (Java)
Tuesday, December 7, 2004

Make your resume sparkle with the latest trend in software developer certifications! Give your current and potential employers the confidence that you are a non-impaired resource, capable of not producing poor software designs.

Our certification material was developed exclusively by our hyper-experienced staff, leveraging our super-deep understanding of object-oriented design and Java technologies. With a combined 25 years months of professional Java experience behind it, rest assured that the relevance of your certification will endure the ever-changing landscape of the software development industry.

So how do I get certified?

Impressive question. You must perform a software development exercise, also known as a code kata. Our staff will quickly carefully evaluate your exercise and determine whether or not you are a non-impaired object-oriented designer.

But, how do I get certified?

Touché. I see that there is no fooling you. In order to attain this prestigious certification, your exercise must not include any of the following attributes: Duplicate Code, Getters, Setters, One and Only One Class, A Non-Working Solution. If your exercise truly lacks the preceding attributes, you will receive a link to a printable Certificate of Non-Impairment to hang in your cubicle.

What if I don't get certified?

That's the spirit! You will not walk away empty-handed. At no an additional cost, you will receive a motivational notecard to display in your cubicle.

Dude, how do I get certified?

Pay us money. Download the exercise. Don't be impaired.

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